Letters – Episode 28 2018

Below are the letters from Episode 28 2018. Have your say on these topics in the comments section.

Hello Mitch and Panellists,

I have a very attractive sister who without question is a dangerous (to herself) sex addict. She’s additionally so bad and so demanding that none of the guys she meets and takes home ever want to talk to her again and they certainly turn the other way when they see her in the street or at a coffee shop.

She’s 24 and I hope she grows out of this constant one night - all night sex obsession because I hate seeing her treat herself with such little respect out of her addiction. Half the problem is that she’s yet to find a guy who will stay with her because as I see it she puts them under so much pressure to perform.

So panellists at what point should I intervene here. Should I open my mouth now or should I keep quiet and wait until she calls out for help? Is that what sex addicts do though? Do they call out for help? I know she's also hurting herself by looking for love in all the horribly wrong places.

CRAIG, BRIGHTON VIC

Dear Panel,

I'm 27 and I'm moving back in with mum and dad. Everyone it seems has a problem with that. To move back in with the parents is apparently a big no-no and so I’m being constantly teased by all my workmates and friends.

Apparently, we all have a great need to have our own spaces and places. Well, quite simply I can’t afford a place of my own anymore because the economy is crap. But it’s got me thinking about real values. Our materialistic western society has us doing what no group of humans did throughout our evolution. Moving out on our own is not natural. Family groups keep together and co-depend on one another. But we are driven to be economic individuals. Our own places. Our own everything. It makes us lonely. It makes us poor. It makes us abandon our elderly. It leads to the loneliness of so many generations and like me, places people in economic hardship where none need be.

Now that we're in an economic downturn maybe we'll begin to start understanding our basic human requirements rather than focus on being economically driven and accepting misplaced materialistic drives. I’m looking forward to moving home again and so are my folks. So really is there any valid reasons why I shouldn't move back in with my folks? Is it really the “soft option” as most of my mates are saying?

CABE, FERNDALE, WA

Hello Panellists,

I think my almost 13-year-old daughter is a bully but I’m not sure. She comes home from school complaining about other girls bullying her and then the following day tells me that she took my advice, ignored the actions of those girls in the class, but made a point of telling them that’s what she was doing!

She came home another day and complained she finished up alone when the class had to pair up. That tells me that no one wanted to pair up with her. I’ve spoken to the form teacher and he tells me that my daughter gives as much as she gets. I’m starting to think that she’s learnt to manipulate me and her dad into feeling sorry for her and that she is the victim.

The bullying, if it’s happening, hasn’t seemed to have dampened her enthusiasm in the pursuing boys (as bullying had done to me when I was subject to it at school 25 years ago). She always wants to get dolled up and meet this one and that one at the shopping centre on weekends or school holidays, and just like all the girls now, even in winter wants to go out wearing the tiniest of outfits.

What can I do to find out what’s really going on here, and how do I treat my daughter to keep giving her the love and direction that she needs, and at the same time correct any bullying or manipulative behaviour that she may be projecting?

JANINE, BOTANY, NSW

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